You must decide what matters to you,
what is most important to you,
and focus on that.
"Being busy" can become a habit so entrenched that it causes you to postpone or neglect what really matters to you. YOU CAN BE SO BUSY THAT YOU DON'T TAKE THE TIME TO DECIDE WHAT REALLY *DOES* MATTER TO YOU!!
We feel pulled in too many directions because we feel we must do everything, respond to everything, because we are supposed to, because that's how we stay "in control." Hah.
A Rabbi said, "Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have."
We stay busy to avoid looking into the abyss... to avoid considering death and imagine we have power & control.
DECIDE WHAT MATTERS -- AND DO IT!!!
At the heart of making the most of life today is the ability to treasure & protect the connections to the things you care the most about. BUT you must not have too many connections... select a few and allow them to flourish consciously & deliberately. THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU HAVE NEGLECTED WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU.
SELECTION - hold what is good, weed out the bad
Rhythm is key
"F-state": fearful, flustered frantic, frenzied, forgetful, flummoxed, frustrated and fragmented -- AVOID AT ALL COSTS!
"C-state": clear, calm, cool, collected, concentrated, creative, consistent, courteous, coordinated -- THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO BE!
Paradoxically, labor saving devices create more labor by freeing up time & energy to do more things!
We have open access to so much... but volumes of "blather" & "clutter" accumulate and need to be sorted through, making it difficult to find pearls:
Blather: nearly useless words, images, sounds which need to be sorted, understood
Clutter: words printed on papers, memos, forms, pamphlets, magazines, books, e-mails, etc.
Screen-sucking: time engaging with any screen, which seems to suck time away... sort of modern addition. You need to be aware that you are susceptable to it; use an alarm clock.
Get rid of leeches (things that suck away time) & cultivate lilies (doing what we want). Do what you're good at instead of (necessarily) trying to shore up weaknesses:
Leeches: People & projects that waste time and attention. These need to be weeded.
Lillies. : People & projects that make you glad to be alive and doing what you're doing. These need to be cultivated.
Doomdart: When an obligation you've forgotten about shoots into your memory, causing stress.
Gigaguilt: There is so much to remember that we are incapable of missing something or disappointing someone, which causes continual guilt. BEST REMEDY: set limits on commitments, prioritize what matters most to you
Gemalsmerch: the force that distracts the mind or distorts it from doing what it ought to be doing. Things that increase stress... news that you will be IRS audited, etc.
Frazzing is multitasking ineffectively.
Set limits on commitments. Prioritize what you value most.
THE CHALLENGE IS TO LEARN HOW TO PUT ON THE BRAKES IN MODERN LIFE... TO LEARN TO PAUSE, TO STOP TO THINK AND DETERMINE WHAT MATTERS BEFORE MOVING ON. OTHERWISE, THE DAY BECOMES A BLUR.
Take advantage of the amazing technological advantages & benefits of modern life, BUT use it to your advantage, without letting it control you.
You have to be quite deliberate to avoid overload.
You can only do what you can do. Don't fall into the trap of believing that you ought to do everything that you're asked to do or could do.
"Fast" has become a modern synonym for "good". "Slow" is agonizing or boring.
Feeling & thinking deeply may become an activity of the few. Being stimulated or providing stimulation will become the activity of the many... the content won't matter as long as it's catchy (stimulating). Thinking deeply is hard, so many prefer to have others think for them.
Being overwhelmed, busy & distracted means that you don't think well. The problem isn't that people aim too high and miss, but that they aim too low and hit.
"Chance favored the prepared mind."
Today's world provides us with too much data and not enough thought.
We need to stop collecting data at some point and reflect on the data we have. However, in this world, we feel that we have never collected enough data.
Our minds need to "play" more... playing is any activity that lights up the brain, that activates the imagination, lifts the person out of the mundane into the most meaningful & productive realm. Its essence is the engagement of the imagination.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT ALL OF THIS?
(1) YOU NEED A SYSTEM TO DEAL WITH IT. Based on your needs. MAKE SURE YOU DO WHAT MATTERS WHAT MOST TO YOU!!! Your system must enable you to live ACTIVELY & CONSCIOUSLY in a way to do what matters most to you.
(2) We only have so much control... but we usually have more control than we think that we have. The key is to find the BALANCE between control & lack of control.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the insight to prioritize wisely what I want to change, the patience to resist trying to control everything I could had I the energy and time, the courage and skill to change the things I have chosen to change, and the wisdom to know the differences between all these.
Being busy is a good way to keep from taking stock of how you are living your life.
AM I DOING WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO?!?!?
WHEN FEAR GOVERNS YOUR USE OF TIME, YOU CEASE TO BE WHO YOU ARE AND GIVE UP YOUR CHANCE TO LIVE A GENUINE LIFE.
10 PRINCIPLES FOR MODERN LIFE:
(1) Do what matters most to you. Don't spread yourself too thin. Focus on what you like best and what you do best. It is tempting to try to do everything we want do to. Choose & prioritize... and learn to say NO. Get rid of what hinders you.
(2) Create a positive emotional environment where ever you are. This is essential for effective mental functioning.
(3) Find your rhythm. The 'auto-pilot' of brain takes care of many things to allow your creative thinking part of mind to flourish. This is done by doing many other things (do what matters most, positive environment, using morning burst, weeding out leeches, etc.) Finding your rhythm is being in "the zone".
(4) Invest your time wisely to get the best return. Don't waste it or let it be wasted.
(5) Don't waste time on the modern addiction - screen sucking. Recognize the problem and take control of it, creatively if needed.
(6) Identify and control or eliminate the forces of distraction in your environment, which distracts you from what you want or ought to be doing. Possible sources: do important work first. Index card: "DO IT FIRST". Distraction is like a riptide pulling you away for hours. When work becomes difficult or boring, take a quick break: exercise quickly (jumping jacks), a quick drink, meditate/pray for a few minutes, then back to work without breaking away. CLUTTER must be worked on EVERY DAY. "OHIO" - only handle it once!!! PROCRASTINATION -- adopt the motto DO IT NOW!!! Worry: (1) Never worry alone - talk to someone. (2) get more information. (3) make a plan to establish some level of control.
(7) Delegate what you're not good at or what you don't like to do if possible. Be effectively interdependent, not independent.
(8) SLOW DOWN! We have reflexive internal impatience, even when we don't need to be. We tap the steering wheel even when we're early, we clench our teeth when someone talks too slow. What is your hurry? Rushing around to try to squeeze more stuff in than you should, making you do all of it less well and less enjoyable. Your hurry is your ENEMY. Why hurry? Because I must? Not true!
(9) Don't multitask ineffectively; give one task your full attention. You'll do it better.
(10) Play! Imaginatively engage with what you are doing.
· CONNECT. Connect with people & projects that matter most to you.
· CONTROL. Control your technology instead of letting it control you.
· CANCEL. People & organizations add and don't subtract. Think of one thing to cancel NOW and pare life down to its best.
· CREATE. Create structures & systems in your life to help you get organized.
· CARE. Decide what you care about most. You won't have time for everything you care about, so you must prioritize.
· CULTIVATE. Cultivate your lilies & discard your leeches. Take a fearless inventory of your life. Decide what you want to do MORE of & what do you want to do LESS of... then DO it!!!
System - make it part of your reflexes. Habits, routines, rituals. Plans often get forgotten... plans that become automatic become a system. Connect & communicate with others. Bring problems up SOONER than later... don't let fear hold you back; the problem will only get worse.
Say what you mean, mean what you say. If something bothers you, say it. If you have something to say, SAY IT.
Allow enough time to do a good job.
Set aside a few minutes a day just to THINK. Even 30 minutes.
Don't get perfectly organized, just organized enough.
Perfectionism is an obstacle to excellence.
Spend as much time with your children as you possibly can! It's good for them and you, and you will never regret it.
Don't die without trying to do what you most want to do.
Don't let technology substitute for thinking.
Just ask for help.
Take your time.
No comments:
Post a Comment